My name is Mallory – “Hi, Mallory!” – and I’m a control freak . . .
Or at least I used to be.
The line is both fuzzy and gray, to be honest.
I begin today’s post with that somewhat lackluster confession, though, because therein lies one of the biggest deterrents of dreams; the fear of failure, of the unknown.
Pre Mal Adjusted Mallory was an honor student and a 3rd Degree black belt – a calculated risk-taker at best.
She thrived on structure – a side effect of being bounced around a lot during the post-divorce years, I suspect – and was as Type A as the stereotypically Type A eldest child can be.
But then she . . . I found writing (though sometimes it feels more like writing found me) and I didn’t need to be a calculated risk-taker to know the odds were rough.
I mean, if some of the “best” writers EVER – and by that I mean actual writers, not some celebrity or Navy SEAL or Twihard who happened to write a book – died penniless and obscure, then I was in the same boat as that snowball in hell, up Sh*t Creek and without a paddle, basically.
I had already committed to writing on the inside, but on the outside I managed the anxiety of that commitment by downplaying writing as “just a hobby.”
When asked what I planned to do with my English degree, I would say, “Oh, I don’t know. Work for a magazine or something, I guess . . .” and pleasantly leave it at that.
That way, no one would be the wiser if I failed. It would suck less, somehow, if I were the only one who knew what I really wanted, and how badly I wanted it . . .
But then I was pretty dumb for an honor student.
Young, dumb, and insecure, but oh the difference your twenties make!
Success, I’ve since learned, is a moving target – a target you can’t hit without pulling the trigger first.
So, a few weeks ago, with little ceremony but plenty of pride, I changed my information on Facebook from HR Assistant at Veridiam to Starving Writer at Mal Adjusted . . . DUN DUN DUN!
And speaking of press conferences:
I am very excited to announce my upcoming “Crusader Series,” during which each week’s post will feature an interview with someone else rockin’ their cape, taking life off the beaten path one day at time.
I’ll ask the questions, they’ll give us their answers, and you’ll take away from it what you will.
Here’s hoping it’s something inspiring :)
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