10 Things Superheroes Can Teach Us About "Real Life"

Well, it was only a matter of time before my inner nerd burst forth, like Superman’s iconic S from behind Clark Kent’s well-pressed dress shirt. I doubt those of you who know me are at all surprised, and that those of you who are know me at all.

But anyways . . .

This week’s post is about superheroes because (other than the fact that I LOVE SUPERHEROES!) every superhero there is or ever was is a metaphor – a metaphor for our two selves: the person we are day by day and the person we are capable of becoming. 

And, superpowers aside, the reason we think of them as “heroes” is that they always do the thing that most of us feel is beyond us most of the time; the right thing, no matter how hard it is (or how easy doing the wrong thing would be) and no matter the consequences . . .

The latter is probably why most of them rock an alter ego, mind you, but nonetheless, we could all stand to walk that line a little more closely.

As I have yet to come across a copy of “Being a Superhero for Dummies,” though, here’s a list of the basics so, should you ever come by actual superpowers, you’ll be good to go!

1) CAPES ARE AWESOME

Wear one whenever possible.

2) TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY

While you’re hopefully never going to find yourself going to toe-to-toe with a bunch of bad guys in a dark alley, what day to day or life-or-death situation has ever been improved by a side ache or having a “spare tire ” . . . ?

It’s one of those things you’ll just never regret.

3) “WITH GREAT POWER COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY”

While we can attribute the earliest usage of this phrase to Voltaire (albeit in French) it was Stan Lee’s Amazing Fantasy #15 a.k.a. the first Spiderman story that made it famous, foreshadowing the murder of Uncle Ben, the murderer being a criminal Peter Parker could have stopped. Could have, but didn’t. And as if Uncle Ben dying didn’t stress the importance of these words enough, the fact that in the history of Marvel he is the only notable character who “stays dead” certainly does . . .

So, lesson:

Superheroes don’t ask themselves why bad things happen, they ask themselves, “What can/could I do to stop bad things from happening . . . ?”

4) NOT EVERYONE’S GOING TO SEE YOU FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE

Superman, er . . . I mean, Clark Kent was fetching Lois Lane’s coffee and answering to “Smallville” for what must have felt like years before the time was right to reveal his true identity.

Take a second to just imagine how good that moment must have tasted.

Now, imagine that taste every time someone puts you down or sells your short. Imagine the look on their face when someday – supposing you’ve worked hard and stayed the course – you finally get the chance to show them what you’re really made of . . .

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity,” so when that day comes – and it will – be ready.

And have something really snappy to say. All the best superheroes always do.

5) SACRIFICE

You can’t accomplish anything by doing nothing, let alone everything.

Want it all . . . ?

The “perfect life” . . . ?

Be prepared to work your @$$ off and have no life first. Batman’s office is a cave and Superman’s pad is called the “Fortress of Solitude” for a reason.

6) TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT

Don’t ever stoop to their level, whoever “they” are.

7) DON’T MONOLOGUE

Monologues are for super villains and people who like to hear themselves talk the talk.

Superheroes walk the walk.

8) IT NEVER HURTS TO HAVE “SKILLZ”

Have you ever noticed how, although they’re both billionaires, Batman does his own hacking and Ironman builds his own sh*t . . . ? That’s because they have to be better at what they do than anybody else, friend or foe.

(I mean, c’mon, calling up the Geek Squad with their unique kind of “technical difficulties” isn’t exactly an option.)

But superheroes have to able to do a lot more than just hack your Facebook and build death machines – they have to be knowledgeable about practical things, too, the basics of First Aid, how to change a tire, self-defense, how to work a compass, etc.

Golden Age Wonder Woman, I bet you didn’t know, could type 160 words per minute.

Now, that might not sound that impressive in comparison to her Amazonian strength or Lasso of Truth, but as an administrative assistant by day, believe me when I say that is on fire . . .

The point is it’s good to be well-rounded. You never know what life’s going to throw at you – just you – and it’s best to assume that you’re going to have to figure it out on your own.

9) BE PASSIONATE

About something.

Anything.

Life’s too short (and too long) to be that person just going through the motions, wearing just a plain ol’ undershirt beneath your work clothes day after day after day . . .

10) DON’T STAY DOWN

Superheroes get their butts handed to ‘em, too, occasionally. Christopher Nolan’s Batman by Bane, Superman by Doomsday, Elektra actually died as a result of her injuries from Bullseye . . . but here’s the thing:

A superhero always – ALWAYS – comes back for more.

And on that note, here’s hoping you’ll be back for more Mal Adjusted next week!

XO, Mal

~

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